But over the years we discovered that the stories lied to children.
There are no foreign elites, “Summer Camp Contest” is just a hoax carefully fabricated by the author, and American children are not independent at all.
On the contrary, there is growing evidence that American parents not onlyeducateInstead, they are using American doting to continuously export giant babies to the society.
“Leaving a 2-year-old 9-month-old go shopping alone? Oh god, that’s absolutely impossible in America.”
Netflix’s most popular variety show, “Old Enough,” has further made American parents realize that something is not quite right about their education.
“First Dispatch” was introduced from Japan and is a long-lived program that has been broadcast for 32 consecutive years. Focusing on children aged 2-5, record the first time they go out alone to help their family run errands without their knowledge.
There are various reasons for sending children out: Dad forgot his rice ball, can you deliver it to the dock for Dad? My sister is going to start adding complementary food, please go and buy her twoappleCome on; Mom forgot to put a hat on the Ksitigarbha Buddha, you go and put it on the Ksitigarbha, and by the way, pull out a cabbage and come back…
In short, for the sake of their families, children must put on a small backpack and walk out of the house alone to complete the journey.
A child of 2 years and 9 months, embarking on a journey alone
The purpose of “First Dispatch” is to “do not add any performances”. The film crew is only responsible for following the child’s side to record and ensure safety, and will not interfere with any child’s actions, so the audience can truly see “the first independent action in life.” “What will happen to the human cubs at the time.
Some children get lost, some forget what to buy when they arrive at the store, and some children find that the cabbage told by their mother can’t be pulled out, and their faces flush with anxiety. The more unfortunate child went out with a small fish basket. Before he took two steps, the rope of the fish basket broke, and the slippery raw fish rolled to the ground. After finally picking it up and walking two steps, the other side of the rope broke again. Picking up fish and picking up life has nothing to love.
Usually in these situations, it’s time for adults to help, but the “First Dispatch” program team chose to wait, waiting for the child to turn around and find a solution.
So you see, the lost children found their way home.
The child who forgot to buy curry at the store suddenly woke up on the way back and went back to the store to buy curry.
The little girl who pulled the cabbage turned the head of the cabbage in circles for half an hour, and finally pulled the cabbage home in the dark.
And the unfortunate child who picked up the fish finally walked to the fish shop carrying the box with both hands, and successfully brought back the yusheng that the proprietress helped to handle, and also picked a wild flower as a gift for his mother.
The little girl put a hat on Jizo and smiled happily
If you hadn’t seen it with your own eyes, it’s hard to believe that this is a job done by a group of kids who don’t even recognize the camera. But they not only did it, they did it brilliantly.
In the process of going out alone for the first time, the children quickly completed the re-recognition of their own identity, and naturally understood what the illusory “responsibility” is.
Carrying two heavy cans of milk powder, two large bottles of beverages and apples, I climbed up the slope with great pains, and the apples suddenly rolled to the bottom of the slope. Do you want to go down and pick them up? The very tired little boy didn’t even think about it, and immediately ran downhill, because apples are the first food supplements in his life that his sister will eat tonight.
The owner of the sushi restaurant, who is afraid of raw food, is crying and chirping at the door of the house, and dare not go to the dry cleaner to help Dad pick it upcookingClothes. But my mother said that without cooking clothes, my father would not be able to work. The little master gritted his teeth and wiped his tears, swallowed his fear, and chose to set off.
The little guys who usually seem to need the help of adults for everything, in fact, not only recognize the way, but also find ways to overcome various unexpected difficulties.
No one knows where these magical powers are usually hidden. If this show hadn’t suddenly thrown the children into a separate world, this tenacity would have been lost in the careful care of their parents.
“The First Dispatch” chief director Junji Ouchi said: “This is not a documentary for kids, this is an educational program for adults. Children are more capable than their parents imagine.Many mothers are very worried about their children and only let them do what they can do, but for children, sometimes they can do it without trying so hard. “
Just a few days after it was launched, “First Dispatch” has become popular in the American parent circle, and every mother is discussing this soft, small and cute show.
One supporter of “free-range education” said: “Everyone should watch First Dispatch. It will show you where to find the courage, confidence and tenacity that your child really needs.”
After seeing the performance of Japanese children, and looking at the children at the age of seven or eight who can’t go out on the street alone, many American parents can’t sit still.
Once upon a time, both the United States and Japan were the vanguards of “independent education”. When it comes to successful independent education, no one can avoid the role model of the United States and Japan. But since when did American children fall behind?
Why did the “wild children” that could be seen everywhere in the United States in the past become a rare sight that can only be seen in Japanese programs?
Americans half a century ago would never have imagined that American education would become like this today.
In the 1970s, American children spent their days playing dangerous lawn darts in the yard, riding bicycles without safety helmets, and even riding cars without wearing seat belts.
They smoked their parents’ second-hand smoke, applied tanning cream to sunbathe, and climbed and slid up and down the hot iron open-air slides. According to the current child safety standards, they were frantically testing on the verge of death every day.
In those days, there were many children in every family, and no parents took care of you.where toRun like crazy, just remember to go home for dinner at some point.
According to the data, “being able to go to the neighborhood by myself” is a must-have skill for every child in the 1970s before entering primary school.
A checklist written by an elementary school to parents to help them judge whether their children are eligible for elementary school, 1979
Now, all the above-mentioned behaviors are no longer allowed, let alone letting children run wild, even planned travel games may face serious police charges.
In 2008, “New York Sun” columnist Lenore Skenazy was scolded as “America’s Worst Mom” for posting an article about how to support her 9-year-old son to ride the New York subway home alone.
The son begged her for weeks, hoping that she would take him to an unfamiliar place and let him try to go home in his own way.
Skenazy agreed, and she gave her son a subway map, a subway card, a $20 bill, and a couple of quarters for making phone calls, before leaving.
After 45 minutes, my son got home on time and everything went well. Skenazy hopes to tell everyone that we can let go and trust our children more.
But the readers did not pay the bill. Snowflakes of complaints flooded into the mailboxes of The Sun and Skenazy. Angry readers claimed that they should call the police for “negligence of child care” and let the police deal with Skenazy, an incompetent mother.
“Neglect to take care of children” is not a fictitious crime, and every year parents are severely punished for it.
In 2015, a Florida couple was convicted of “felony child neglect” after they got home late, keeping their 11-year-old son out of the house and playing basketball in the yard for 90 minutes. This scene happened to be seen by the neighbors who enthusiastically called the police.
As a result, the couple were kidnapped and detained overnight, and their 11-year-old son and 4-year-old brother were sent to foster homes for a month and received “play” therapy until the couple completed the parenting lessons provided by the community.
In 2014, Connecticut, an 11-year-old girl was caught in a car for covetingair conditionerCool, refused to get off the car with her mother to go to the pharmacy, stayed in the car alone, and was called by a kind person. As a result, the girl’s mother was summoned by the court for a misdemeanor.
US Legal Website: Neglecting a child is also a form of abuse
The New Albany, Ohio Sheriff even directly suggested:
“Children should not be allowed to go out without adult supervision – until they are 16 years old.”
Taking care of children has become a huge project accurate to the millimeter level for American parents.
No parent wants to be seen as a negligent parent who doesn’t value their children, but no instruction book clearly states what to do to be considered enough. So parents are getting more and more outrageous on the road of “care”.
At the end of the roll, many people became annoying “helicopter parents”, buzzing and hovering over their children’s heads all the time.
You can also call them “hockey parents” as the Swedes call them – like pucks, constantly adjusting the ice surface to make sure the kids slide in the right direction at the right speed.
On the one hand, they take good care of their children’s lives and “serve” them comfortably, and on the other hand, they are always alert to any external factors that may cause harm.
They need to have every piece of social information about their child — who they are texting, how old they are, what career they are in — and even when they go to the bathroom, they have to lay out several rules:
Never let children use public toilets alone;
Teach your child to use a toilet cubicle instead of a urinal;
Avoid using toilets with more than one entrance;
When your child uses the toilet, always stand at the door and talk to him.
Helicopter parents firmly believe that nowhere in the world is safe except around them.
Top: When your child is watching violent porn; Bottom: When your child has friends
So it’s not hard to understand why contemporary Americans can only appreciate the cuteness of their cubs going out alone on Japanese shows.
In the American community, there has long been no tolerance for children going out alone.
Even the show “First Dispatch” has received criticism from many nervous parents.
The Age magazine urban commentator Cara Waters was one of them, and she unceremoniously called The First Sentence a “Japanese cult.”
She believes that “The First Dispatch” is just a well-crafted reality show. It uses a large number of staff to follow and investigate the safety of surrounding roads, deliberately exaggerating the ability of children, and deliberately blurring the potential safety risks of children in life.
Fundamentally, it is provoking the finally established contemporary American child safety rules with a “fake safety”.
Staff will follow the children with disguised cameras
“If you believe in this kind of show, then I’m really breaking a cold sweat for your child.”
An American viewer commented on social platforms.
“Not everyone can raise a child like the Japanese. They have the safest neighborhoods and streets in the world, vehicles always pay attention to pedestrians, and we? The United States is not such a place.”
We are so familiar with this operation of American parents, almost exactly the same as our parents.
Unexpectedly, after learning the advanced models for decades, I ended up on the same road as us.
Overestimating risk, worshipping safety, not accepting any risk – “safety first” is sweeping the world.
In nearly every country where the economy is sufficiently high to support excessive parenting, safety is the number one rule in education. All activities must be carried out under the premise of ensuring absolute safety, and every play that may threaten safety has gone into the trash.
From the laissez-faire in the 1970s to the tight-knit man-marking of today, why has the parenting style of parents changed so fundamentally?
Some may answer, of course, because it is not as safe as it used to be, but the opposite is true.
According to crime statistics compiled by the official website of Let Grow in the United States, whether it is murder or kidnapping, the child crime rate in the United States has remained at a historically low level after 2013.
In fact, not so much because society is no longer safe, but because it all comes from the collective anxiety that contemporary parents cannot escape.
American sociologist Jonathan Hydet points out in his book “Why We Made a Glass-Hearted Generation” that one of the reasons leading us to “safety first” is that the news media continues to reinforce the collective impression that society is not safe .
in the newspaper,televisionSensational cases of child abduction and murder are being told everywhere.
In 1984, a father set up a fund for his abducted and missing son Adam, and printed Adam’s head on the milk carton, which spread to thousands of households. By 1990, the program had expanded to include numerous missing children, with printed faces on paper bags, billboards, pizza boxes, and even utility bills.
No generation has ever been more constantly reminded of the scare that a child might be abducted, sold and disappeared than the generation that was parents in the early 1990s.
Although data proves that 99.8% of missing children in the United States will return home every year, only 1% of the remaining children may be taken away by strangers, and the chances of children being abducted are very small, but the overwhelming advertisements for missing people make every parent feel that, You may be the unfortunate one percent yourself.
Another reason that exacerbates the anxiety of contemporary parents is that in the era of low birthrate, parents obviously put more effort into their children.
I often hear some young mothers sigh: It is already so hard to have a child now, when grandparents pulled four or five children from the big parents, it should be a terrible project.
But this is just an illusion.
The energy that parents of today and the parents of 50 or 60 years ago put into parenting is completely unequal.
According to a Pew Research Center survey, compared to stay-at-home moms 50 years ago, today’s parents are raising fewer children and working longer hours, but spend more overall time on childcare. long.
This means that we are consolidating all the love that was spread over several children in the past into one child.
If the grandparents who raised seven or eight children in one breath were ready to accept the death of one or two children, then those who devoted all their efforts to cultivate a descendantContemporary parents simply cannot bear any sinking Chen Ben.
The fear of loss drives them to seek more absolute security.
So the child who went home with the key on the street disappeared, “playing soy sauce” became an urban legend of the past, and gradually, even leaving the child at home alone became a crime.
Everything ends in “safety”.
So are children who grew up in such a sterile environment really safe?
The unfortunate news is that the body is indeed safe, but the spirit is not.
Generation Z, born after 1995, is the most important recipient of “safety first” education.
Gen Z also has the highest rate of depression so far.
In 2013, when Generation Z entered the adult society of college, the depression rate of young people in the United States immediately soared. Compared with other generations, they were more likely to report significant psychological problems, more susceptible to news events, and less likely to describe their mental state as “good.”
At the same time, they are also the most extreme and prone to extreme actions of the generation of young people.
On the campus of Generation Z, the “strike activities” to boycott invited speakers are becoming more and more frequent. Whenever the invited guests have a little political disagreement with themselves, such as Ms. Rowling’s so-called unfriendly remarks about transgender people, Z Generations of students will lodge an outcry to the school to stop the invitation.
If the school does not comply, the “invitation strike” may even evolve into a violent action of chasing after the guests, shouting and killing.
Extreme security breeds extreme vulnerability, and Black Mirror is right again.
Regarding “safety first”, it tells a story like this:
The mother was inattentive. The 3-year-old daughter chased the kitten and got lost. Although she was quickly found, the mother was terrified. She found a technology company and implanted a chip into her daughter. The chip allows the mother to share her daughter’s vision and block all negative information that is not conducive to children.
The mother was satisfied, and since then she has monitored her daughter’s every move with a chip every day to ensure her safety at all times.
But her daughter missed a lot of experiences because of the shielding: she couldn’t see her bleeding fingers, her grandfather fell to the ground due to a heart attack, and her mother’s sad and tearful face at the funeral, all of which were just a ball in her eyes Just a twisted mosaic.
Gradually, my daughter discovered that her classmates often read things she couldn’t see. Even if the classmates recited it, only the noise after the shielding was heard in her ears. She realized that something was missing in her life.
So she began to self-harm in an attempt to break through the shield, and the mother realized that she had to stop monitoring under the persuasion of the doctor in order to relieve her daughter’s psychological problems.
So the mother locked the monitor in the attic, and the daughter finally returned to normal life. But she began to involuntarily pursue pain, stimulation, learn to talk to women in pornography, and voraciously absorb negative information that had been missed for many years.
When her daughter entered puberty and began to have a boyfriend, her mother finally turned on the monitor that had been dusty for many years because of her worries. As a result, I saw the passionate picture of my daughter and her boyfriend. The mother kept silent, but secretly added contraceptives to her daughter’s diet every day, and continued to protect her safety in her own way.
When the daughter found out what her mother was doing behind her back, she broke down, grabbed the monitor in a rage, and smashed her mother frantically. The mother’s face was covered with blood, but the daughter did not stop, because at this time the shielding function was turned on again, the mother in the daughter’s eyes had no blood, only a distorted mosaic.
Why does comprehensive protection breed vulnerability and violence?
Hydet used a Peanuts story to make an incisive analogy:
In 1990, the rate of peanut allergy among U.S. children was less than 4 in 1,000, but by 2008, that number had risen to more than three times the original rate of 14 in 1,000.
In the nearly 20 years from 1990 to 2008, schools and parents took 120,000 precautions and tried their best to reduce children’s contact with peanuts. Why did the allergy rate increase instead of decreasing?
It took years to discover that it was the reduction in peanut exposure that caused the peanut allergy.
In fact, exposing children to peanut products on a regular basis can induce a protective immune response and drastically reduce allergy rates. Long-term restriction of exposure to peanuts can make allergic reactions worse.
That’s what happened,Allergies due to lack of exposure to allergens,same:
“By keeping kids safe from all kinds of risks, we can make them overly fearful of non-dangerous situations and fail to learn the adult skills they’ll need to be familiar with in the future.”
Different Parenting Models in America: Weeder Parents, Helicopter Parents, Free Range Parents, Supportive Parents, Tiger Parents, Elephant Parents
There is always an umbilical cord that is constantly being cut between contemporary parents and their children.
While we complained that our children never grow up, we continued to treat them like babies.
Vulnerability, violence, and extremism, when people in the entire online world think in black and white like children, will anyone think about why we are becoming more and more like a giant baby community?
It’s not just some evil force that can destroy a child, it’s more likely excessive love.
Sure, the world is dangerous, but are we overestimating the risks for others because of our own anxiety?
The world is ours now, and it will be theirs one day.
Perhaps when measuring reality, we should all jump out of the “parent’s ideal” and find a more appropriate scale according to the real history.